Most recently, on the 12th of September, I had gone through Bunion Surgery. The surgery was to remove two moderate bunions from my right foot. There was a Plain old Bunion on my right foot on the left side of it, and on the right I had grown a small/moderate Tailor's bunion off of my smallest toe. I am now recovering nicely and I cannot wait to get back into school soon enough.
Before I had gone into surgery to get this procedure done, I had noticed something different. My room was more interesting than it had been for a long time. I was having preoperative stress, and along with it I had started to pay attention to every thing around me. I am writing this to tell you exactly what I noticed that, so far that I know of, had changed my life.
When I went to sleep, my insomnia acted up and caused me to wake up in the middle of the night. Not because of nervousness or fear, but just the simple fact that I cannot stay asleep at night. When I awoke at 3am, I stared out of the window at the night/early morning sky and I could not help but marvel at the fact I could only see a few stars. Being within Milwaukee, you barely see any due to lights. The strange thing about me noticing the stars, was that I had never gotten up from insomnia to occupy my time with anything other than trying to go back to sleep and worrying about waking up again.
When I got up in the morning to get ready to get picked up to go the Surgicenter of Greater Milwaukee for my procedure, I woke up calmer than normal. I slowly got up out of bed and lightly turned off my screaming alarm clock. I noticed the time was 8:02. I normally do not care what time it is and I just turn my attention to turning off the loud alarm. Over the hour I had to get ready, I remember that everything I did that morning, was done calmly and not in a rush or bustle. I noticed everything was a lot more clear to me. I saw the room's white walls as white for once, and not clear as if non-existing. Everything that was in my room, I took notice to fully for once. My "Daughter", a parakeet named Muniya, was not awake fully but I woke her up to give her little pecks before I had to go. I had a light tinge in my mind that this day might be my last. I knew that foot surgery would not kill me since it is only a foot and it carries not as many or as big of arteries as the arm, thigh, or anywhere around the heart. Instead of worrying about the foot surgery killing me, I had the little naive thought that the anesthetic would harm me. I am only 16 years of age with the height of 5'4 currently, and the weight of about 108-110lbs. Being underweight, you will worry of things more than the average person would. Well, if you do not worry, I do. I remembered more than I should have for a normal day. I had remembered where I had left my hairbrush on my bed and everything I had touched that morning and left to set down. Muniya had tweeted in her little bird language an almost audible, "Good luck." to me as I left my room to leave the house.
When outside I had noticed more than normal. I was outside waiting for my ride there and I chose to sat down on the cement stairs. The weather was fair yet warm for about 9am in the morning. I had noticed almost everything rarely noticed, such as the amount of ants crawling around outside on the ground, the colors and names of the dogs if their names were said out loud., and other things. This noticing had gone on for all of the time I was outside and up until the ride got here. When we got in the ride, me and my biological mother, I had noticed what each person I interacted with was wearing clearly, their voices, their scents, their hair and eyes, and everything.
When we had arrived at the place, I noticed everything else. I realized as I walked into the place, that I could read the looks on people's faces a lot easier, and they all had the same thought, the people who were there already and those who entered in as I sat down waiting to be called back. They all thought, "This person came in. They look pretty fine to me. What could they possibly be getting surgery on?" Also some would think to themselves, "Which of them is getting the surgery?" If they were to look at a group of people sitting together. I could read them and know what they thought for I thought the same thing about them too.
On the news on the television a good bunch of yards away, I got up to go hear it, but the news had President Barack Obama talking about the death of the United States Ambassador, Christopher J. Stevens, who was murdered in an attack that was possibly planned, in Libya.
I noticed everything around me and could remember everybody's face in the clinic I was in. Nothing had gone unnoticed.
Soon enough I was cold from the air conditioning in the building, so I had asked to go sit outside for a little bit and wait until I was warm enough to come back in or I was called. I was able to go outside, and out there I had the most fun I had in a day. Normally I am not allowed to go outside because there are people after me, and if I did go outside, I had to watched. When I was outside I stood in the sun off of the cement in the parkway. It was warming and pleasant to stand in for once to me, not tiring or too hot. I twirled around to feel warmer air and a bit of bliss before I could not do it again for about a month or more. I touched the grass that was softer than I had ever touched grass before, and I was happy. I had gone back in eventually to sit down because I was warm enough, only to come back outside to sit because I had gotten cold again. This time I sat on the bench outside of the doors instead of roaming around. There I sat and thought to myself the chances of living and was convincing myself I would be fine. After all, they are surgeons in a surgical place for a reason. I was sure to be fine and with that, I had calmed down to nothing and I was accepting my surgical procedure in about an hour or two. Also, while sitting I had started to notice colors more than I ever had before. The grass with almost blue it was such a deep green. The bee that buzzed past me had bright yellow stripes. Normally I have the reaction to bees as to flinch and run out of their way only over the fear of the last time I had been stung, but I just sat there and watched it fly away, almost hearing the buzzing of the wings down to every air shift it made with them. After some time of resting outside, I was called back.
From there I was taken back for my procedure to be done within an hour. Everything was still vivid to me and everything in me was still surprisingly calm. Nothing could disturb me into a riot now. Everything that day before I had gone in, was vivid to me.
I am now recovering and because of this experience I had, I notice things a lot more clearly and vividly. I think I needed that experience. It made me realize the Earth has a lot of stuff to offer for peace, calm, and serenity. It helps to look around before surgery, I think it makes us if not just myself if not, a better observer. Wish me luck with recovery! I love you readers!
~Brii
